Hoping This Is Just a Phase

            Ahhhh! It almost happened again today! I almost forgot to post. I wish I could say that I've been extremely busy today.   Just like I wish that I could actually answer the question "so what are you doing these days?" Not that I don't love what I'm doing now or that I could honestly be doing anything more than I am.  But it is always a little embarrassing when I have to answer that I live at home with no job.  Then again maybe that's just my hang up.  
           I want to be successful.  I want to be awe-inspiring.  I want people to want to work with me.  
          And I know that I definitely do judge people by what they do, it's who you are.  I stay at home, dabble in photography, knit, and piddle in a thousand other little projects.  (Or to be a little more truthful, I come up with the random ideas--like brewing my own beer--research, get confused by all the technical language, pin a couple of pictures of that idea carried out, talk about it with my parents, get really excited, and then move on to another idea.)  It's my process.  So just a normal day to me I feel like I'm doing something, I feel like I'm being a productive member of society.
          But when that question pops up, I freeze and think back on what I've really been doing... sitting at a computer most all day/laying in bed (my desk is completely covered with paper... another thing I'm working on).  And when I think about my days, I have to answer that I'm not doing too much... just being home.  (Which I mean if someone really wanted to judge I don't exactly have the energy to have an actual job and have a migraine everyday... I mean I have to pick one or the other.) But I know that if I had heard that, I would judge.  (I would definitely be thinking...) So you graduated college a semester early why? 
           Maybe it makes sense to other people why I don't have a job and I'm living at home.  The job market is tough.  Before I graduated college I never really thought much past graduation.  I just always assumed it would be easy for me to find a job (a dead-end one or one in the photography field).  My migraines never even came into the picture, and sometimes when I think about getting a job they still don't.  Some call me a dreamer but I think I'm just more of a romantic.

Title from "The Only One" by The Black Keys